super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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