He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I believe in your delicious
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize