i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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