She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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