He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
