I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
