Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
