Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Randomize
