Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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