That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
