somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize