me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize