Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
