The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
