Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
