Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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