I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
