what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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