I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You are a genius and a whore.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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