Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
