dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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