I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is Oprah even human
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
