when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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