haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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