I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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