just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
