were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize