I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
