Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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