i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
