she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
