His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
