There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
