I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just found puke in my bra..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize