so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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