How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So much rum. So many feels.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
