can u get pink eye on your cock?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
