He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
