dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize