no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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