Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
