it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
