No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Can you bring me the toilet please
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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