It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
whose ass print is on the piano?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize