your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
