when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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