I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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