You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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