wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
