dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
