Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
