Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
