Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
