The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
