I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
