I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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