she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
