idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
