Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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