if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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