He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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