when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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