My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
