thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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