The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
