I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
