we made out on top of his cat.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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