That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize