we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
